Here is another calendar year beginning. Turning back to the pages of the past, i get a nauseating sensation in my guts. Its like the things had been happening so slow and not so properly. It makes me feel whether i have missed something in the swift flow of time or am i gonna loose something in the future time flow?
I can see that i have missed so many things, persons, events and much more in the past. But what makes me uncomfortable is the thought to investigate the missed ones. i.e when i start investigating those what if i found i had missed something much crucial or say i have done something thats terrible and irreversible? May be these fears deep inside my mind causes the nausea whenever i think about the past. But i cannot stop thinking about the past or even the future.
Some people say like 'don't worry about the past, don't dream about the future, but live the present'. I guess i cannot do that. I have tried it many times, say a hundred times last year, but couldn't succeed. I have found myself loosing a good night's sleep just by worrying about the past or planning the next step in my life.
Sometimes i have really felt like a stupid who have let many things go off my hands when i had enough time to grab them. The fault with me is that in a single moment i will have numerous ideas running through my mind, and of course i'm multidisciplinary. The problem arises when prioritizing my ideas.
I'm extremely puzzled and guess i have to spend this year solving my puzzled mind.
1 comment:
completely agree with you.. i too feel the same way..
but I often disagree with people who say "Forget the past".. after all, why do we teach history in school? just for pure academic interests..?
History should be taught so that children know what mistakes our fore fathers committed. In the same way, we should remember the past so that same mistakes are not repeated in the future..
Best of Luck!
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